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Sunday, November 27, 2011

HOW TO COPE LIVING WITH A FATHER ONLY..

In this life we live now,there are so many different situations that happen..Although this is one situation which doesn't occur often but statistics say that 34% of children are raised by their fathers,shocking,huuuh?.. Well don't be shocked because thats life :)

Reasons why fathers end up raising the children themselves may be due to 3 reasons,

1.Ignorance by the mother.(this may be because the mother is drug addict,alcoholic or doesn't love the child at all)
2.Death of the mother.
3.Issues about having child rights between mother and father,then the father gets the child's rights through the court

Earlier this year, when i was doing my survey about this topic,i came to find out that 70% of the 34% being raised by their fathers have difficulties in communicating with their fathers about their personal issues..this happens when the child has reached his teenage age..



The child is usually scared to talk to his dad about his/her personal issues because he/she is scared that her dad will react in a bad way..

Well now i provide you with good points to all the single fathers raising their children and all the children going through situations like this..

The most important thing needed is,

1.LOVE.
                             FOR THE FATHERS..
                      
Love is the most important thing in life and we all can NOT live without it..A good father should be loving to his/her child..Since you the only parent in his life,you supposed to show love for your child and ALWAYS remind him/her that you love him,this will create a strong bondage between you and your child..

                                 FOR THE CHILD..
Always show love to your father..Remember he is the one who takes care of you,so always be loving to your father..and remember whatever he does for you,just know that he loves you..


2.LISTENING..
                     FOR THE FATHER..

This is the most important part of how to cope living with a father only..Fathers!!Always listen to what your children are telling you..Listening doesn't mean you follow what they say but HEAR them out..Listen what they are saying because if you dont listen to them,they made up rebelling and in the future they turn out to be not good people..
70% of the 34% being raised by fathers who don't listen to them,end up rebelling and they engage in bad activities like drugs,alcoholism,e.t.c..
So fathers,if you want your children to grow up well,ALWAYS,hear out their problems or suggestions..


                       FOR THE CHILD..
This goes to the child,especially teens..Always listen to your father.whatever he tells you listen to him because he has good intentions for you and doesnt want you to become a useless person in the future,so always listen to them,and keep in mind what you are always told...


3.FATHERS BE STRICT BUT AT THE SAME TIME BE LENIENT..
Fathers,be strict to your children..Dont let them be out late at night,make sure they hang out with good friends,and dont give them too much freedom..As you know,SPARE THE ROD,SPOIL THE CHILD..So dont give them too much freedom which may end up destroying their future..

Also at the same DONT BE TOO HARD on them..Give them time to play and let them enjoy their life carefully..Mistakes some fathers make is they think by being harsh on the child or being strict on him will turn him/her to be a good person..NO!!! That will even turn him to be worse because when the child gets a chance of having alittle bit of freedom,he/she may go wild and do crazy stuff which may lead them to e.g if its a daughter,getting pregnant.e.tc.. 


 always give the child a space to breathe and remember,WORK WITH NO PLAY,MAKES JACK A DULL BOY.. so always be strict but at the same time,lenient..
4.BEING OPEN TO EACH OTHER..
Fathers and their children should be open to each other..Inorder for children to be open to their fathers,their fathers should assure their children that they wunt be mad at them or be furious..Statistics show that most fathers usually get mad at their young teenage daughters when they hear they have boyfriends..



Well the question is WHY do they get angry??Well,the most common answer is,they too young,they dont want them to get pregnant,they dont want them to get STD'S. All this is true,BUT, why prevent a young teen from growing and enjoying his/her teen years?

When i say this i dont mean the father should let the child have sex or be crazy,BUT why dont you as a parent ADVISE YOUR CHILD on how to be in a teen relationship? Advise her that you can be in a relationship but you take care.Instill in her good behaivour about relationships,so that when she grows up she comes to know whats good in a relationship and whats bad..

And for children,if you have any problems disturbing you,open up to your father,dont hide it because it will hurt you and can cause other problems as well.

5.WHAT NOT TO DO:
                                    
BY FATHERS:
Fathers,the mistake you do is by not letting your teenage children,especially DAUGHTERS to not have boyfriends..Statistics show that daughters living with single fathers who dont allow them to have boyfriends,end up being the first to have sex when they are 13 and above,get unwanted pregnancies and some even getting sexually infected diseases..THE QUESTION IS WHY??

Well,when teens are on their puberty stage,they become rebellious,if you oppose them about something then they will want to oppose you..so since fathers become very strict and harsh on them so that they don't have boyfriends,well when the kids get a chance of meeting up with guys,they just go crazy and want to try bad things,and this leads to the unwanted problems..

So in my opinion,i think parents should give their kids a little freedom and enjoy their teen years because also the same father who is denying the kid to have a teen relationship,HIMSELF,had LOTS of girlfriends in his teen years! :) So fathers,just be slow on your children and let them live their life and grow IF YOU LOVE THEM and dont want to have a GRANDSON soon :D

                                  
FOR CHILDREN:
And us For children,dont handle matters with anger because you will regret it in the future..just be calm and relaxed in decision making..if you think your father will not hear out your problems,just talk to your teacher or older classmates,they may help you out.


6.GOD..
Fathers always pray to GOD..tell HIM to protect you daughters or sons from evil and all bad temptations.Remember,you not with your children 24/7 so there is a possiblity of anything happening..So always pray to THE ALMIGHTY GOD and HE will hear your prayers because He is the only one who can protect them from evil.


And as for children,always remember to pray for your father..Remember he is the only parent you have in your life,and you need GOD to be protecting him always and making him stronger so that he can be there for you.. So always pray to THE ALMIGHTY
 GOD.

7.RESPECT,SUPPORT AND CARE TO YOUR FATHER..
This is an important part of living with a single father,always show respect to your dad,and always be there to take care of him..Always show support in times of need and be there for him..


Trust me folks when u follow the few tips i have outlined you will live a life full of happiness like others have and u will know how to cope living with a single father....

for more info,visit my facebook,facebook.com/yterry3..

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